Seven

We are ever walking to deep water

heavy with stones around our necks,

sunk by the heft of the legend that

we’re images of God, counterfeits

of the Cosmic Knowing.

 

Each of us, an upright man

struggling to stand in roiling eddys,

eroding then to the river bottom

sanding the banks with the grit of our souls,

a coterie of memory, of stories, of lives

we had dreamed we lived, before

planting ourselves into the marsh

waiting for purposeful grasses to grow

up from the jagged seams of our skulls,

while rapids rush just overhead where

we’ve created small turbulences,

but are no longer there to comment on them.

Thirty Pieces

Your lips were still fragrant with hyssop when

you descended into hell looking for me,

finding that even Satan would not

harbor a traitor.

And after the stone had rolled away,

you went into the world again

searching for the infidel.

 

I felt you coming, your footfall quaking,

heard you calling for me,  speaking a name

that had become  a sibilant curse.

With every age  you were closing in.

 

For centuries I have waited,  dreading

the encounter,  fashioning excuses,

justifying the hardest regret.

It was never about the money;

people give money away for the asking.

But approval, now this is a treasure

obtained only with some strategy.

You knew me better than I knew myself.

You knew that for all my talk about the cost of things,

I didn’t understand their worth.

 

I prayed that God would

shut my mouth, that if

I must blurt out the truth,

it would be for the sake of righteousness.

But in those days, and for lifetimes to come

my cursed mouth has been the ruiner of secrets.

 

At last, the day of reckoning dawns,

and there is nowhere else to hide.

So here we are, in this hour of the damned.

And in your loving, magnanimous way,

you have come all this way to cut me down from the tree

and release me from the weight of silver.

Currency

I received a credit card receipt recently on which the patron wrote:  “Currency is Love. Thank you!”

This reminded me of of a point Robert Scheinfeld made in his book “Busting Loose From the Money Game.”

He explains that if money were taken out of the equation in the exchange of goods and services, what remains is gratitude for receiving a good or service.  If you’re not actually  bartering, paying, or exchanging any thing, you would still express appreciation for whatever you have received. Right?

I’m trying to be aware that when I write a check, charge a purchase, or hand over cash for something, that I’m not spending, wasting, giving away, or losing anything. The act of ‘paying’ money is in fact how we receive something we want or need. It is the symbolic way of saying ‘thank you’. Thank you, Pacific Power & Electric, for illuminating my home and keeping it warm. Thank you Chase, for loaning me funds for vacations, dinners, and other things. Thank you Comcast, for the entertaining and education programming you provide.

Perspective is everything. Spending money is receiving.

Receiving is providence.

Currency is Love.

 

Preparing for 2012

As a numerologist, I feel i have a responsibility to address the topic of 2012 and what it may mean for our planet and its inhabitants.

The widespread presumption is that life on earth, as we know it will end on December 21^st, 2012. This belief is based upon the fact that the Mayan calendar ends on that date. This of course, is a gross summary of the predictions made by the Mayans.

Aside from the hysteria accompanying folklore and predictions of end times made throughout the ages, there are geological data and theories that suggest the earth is due for major cataclysm, a natural and periodic occurrence.  So with the Winter Solstice deadline of 2012,  were bracing for the inevitable.

Numerologically, 2012 will be a 5 year. Add 2+0+1+2, and the sum is 5, which is the number concerned with expansion and movement. There is inherent instability with 5 because of its velocity and tendency to change direction. When 5 energy is moving through something, sudden and unexpected events occur.

Go ahead, let your imagination run wild for a minute. Now, 5 isn’t an energy necessarily governing endings, but with the amount of chaos about to ensue, some things will be left in the wake.  My feeling is that 2012 will be a period of unprecedented instability and chaos that will propel our planet and its inhabitants through a transformation that will, culminate closer to 2016, which will be a 9 universal year.

The number 9 isn’t an absolute  indicator of death or extinction, the end of the line per se. If this were the case, then everyone would be born in a 1 personal year, and would die in a 9 personal year. We know this doesn’t happen. In fact, death and birth happen within each of the energies represented by numbers 1 through 9.

But 9  is a vibration concerned with endings, release, and its trajectory is a vortex which moves its subject  toward oblivion. It is the number of self-negation. The words nine, nein, and none are related. So preparing for a major earth change in 2016 is prudent. And this could mean a couple of things Extinction  – the obliteration of our planet, or Ascension  – the spiritual awakening of humanity. Or both.

What is happening, I believe, is a ramping up toward a huge leap forward in the evolution of our species, and perhaps others as well. Transformation is believed to be a single event, but we know it’s a process that occurs over time. Ascension – the same thing. We are ascending right now, gradually. In 2012, we’ll notice acceleration in these processes, and it will be exciting and terrifying. So how do we prepare?

This coming year, 2011 is a 4 year, which means that the energy of stabilization and order prevails. This is the time to prepare, to organize, to ground, to see to every detail of our mission as stewards of this planet. We aren’t preparing for 2012, we’re preparing for the years after.

2011 wil be a year during which we bring our expectations and goals “down to earth” so to speak, paring down extravant habits in spending, eating, and living. Getting to the heart of things, taking care of our bodies, our planet, concerning ourselves with home and family, the building blocks of our civilzation. This is a year of moving away from isolating, ego-centric interests and reconnecting with our “tribe,” our family.

This is also a time of detoxifying our bodies, attending to our health, so that we have a fighting chance amidst the coming changes.

Stay tuned for more thoughts on 2012.

Griz

Dangling Part-Disciple

This isn’t the return of the prodigal blogger, by any means. I’m just trying to make a token effort in fulfilling my mission, which is to transmit information to whomever is listening (reading), and receptive. None of my ideas are mine, purely. They are little bits of of a bigger picture that my receiver is picking up.  Much of it pertains to my particular experience. Some of it is information I will never put to use- even though it sounds like I’ve actually done it.

For instance, the issue of faith. I tell people all the time that the universe will support them in their endeavors. They just have to step off the edge and see what happens. The universe is a friendly place, and why wouldn’t things turn out ok?  Stop living in fear, and follow your heart.

Sounds good, right?

I have no intention of stepping off that ledge. Do I look stupid? There are no guarantees. There are better, purer, more deserving souls on this planet who will never catch a break.  So I will not be tempting fate, not with my shitty karma.

Here is my dilemma. And truly,  it’s only a dilemma if I entertain the possibility of actually choosing one option over the other, and I’ve made my decision, but the thing is, I hate my job, and should have quit two years ago.

I have no respect for my bosses, and my workplace is a source of tremendous and overwhelming stress, frustration, rage, and fear.

All indications – making mistakes at work, adrenal burnout, nausea, contempt and that scoured-out empty feeling one gets when one’s soul has been filleted from their being–all are signs that I need to vacate the premises.

But I’ve stayed and put up with being treated poorly, having my modest raise taken away, enduring insults and condescending remarks, having to work under impossible scrutiny, and wondering if I’m going to be fired.

I’ve realized this year that the fewer things I have, the fewer things I have to worry about losing, this includes my job. But this is a hard economy, I don’t have a college degree, I’m 40 something, and have lots of debt. Without a solid backup plan, it would be imprudent to just walk away from a job that at least pays my bills.

As a pilgrim whose job and mission it is to test the friendliness and resources of the so-called Source, I just can’t bring myself to follow through on this assignment. I understand, wholly, that this is the point of my arriving at this juncture. But I’m so fearful that if I follow my heart and just depart from this situation I would be left dangling – jobless, penniless, and would lose my home, belongings –everything.

I know what I’m supposed to do.  I just  don’t believe that I’ll be ok.