…Just different outcomes.
Choices and their consequences have been on my mind lately.
I’ve been immobilized by the fear of making the wrong choices most of my life, so I opt–usually, to not take risks. True to the adage, I have ventured little and have gained little. But what have I lost? Faith? Trust? Opportunity?
Perhaps. But can I change this reptillian-brained need for security and step outside my comfort zone? I’d like to. I keep falling into that self-sabotaging excuse, “Once this and that are in order, I can then take this particular action.” I’ve convinced myself, as so many people have, that unless certain things are in place, certain other things cannot be undertaken. “I shouldn’t quit my job unless I have another one lined up. Otherwise, I won’t have any money coming in, and the bills won’t get paid, and I’ll lose my car and house, etc.” Or, “I don’t want to start dating until I’ve lost 15 pounds and have cured my acne, because I’m not lovable just as I am.”
I’ve created a story of consequences, which may or may not happen, and am losing the best years of my life to conditions instead of experiences. If all experiences, illusory as they are, pass through us and from us, then why become attached the outcome, especially before we actually experience the outcome? Instead of dwelling in defeat or gloating in success, we can consider that each moment, each consequence is a question asking: What will you do now? What will you do with this information? This gift?
We judge results based on how they make us feel, and then either complacency or fear keeps us from flowing into the next lesson, relationship, adventure. We judge ourselves as well, not wanting to be perceived as foolish, moving through life so very measured and calculated for the sake of appearances. What if nobody is watching us? What would I do if I thought no one was keeping score?
My determination for the New Year is this: I will take more risks and I will make decisions based soley on my wishes.
There are no bad consequences; just new information that I couldn’t have gained without committing to one action or another.
Happy New Year