Return of the Elements

December 25, 2011

I worried about all the words I had lost.

I’ll never write again, I said.

And then, in the gaping space where

the lexicon had lived like a city,

weather came, forces of a subtler velocity

shaping the space, excavating then seeding.

And now the new land is being populated

by simple creatures.

Beautiful, wild, skittish cubs.

I love them.

I resist the urge to chase them.

We can all live here together.

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Dangling Part-Disciple

September 27, 2010

This isn’t the return of the prodigal blogger, by any means. I’m just trying to make a token effort in fulfilling my mission, which is to transmit information to whomever is listening (reading), and receptive. None of my ideas are mine, purely. They are little bits of of a bigger picture that my receiver is picking up.  Much of it pertains to my particular experience. Some of it is information I will never put to use- even though it sounds like I’ve actually done it.

For instance, the issue of faith. I tell people all the time that the universe will support them in their endeavors. They just have to step off the edge and see what happens. The universe is a friendly place, and why wouldn’t things turn out ok?  Stop living in fear, and follow your heart.

Sounds good, right?

I have no intention of stepping off that ledge. Do I look stupid? There are no guarantees. There are better, purer, more deserving souls on this planet who will never catch a break.  So I will not be tempting fate, not with my shitty karma.

Here is my dilemma. And truly,  it’s only a dilemma if I entertain the possibility of actually choosing one option over the other, and I’ve made my decision, but the thing is, I hate my job, and should have quit two years ago.

I have no respect for my bosses, and my workplace is a source of tremendous and overwhelming stress, frustration, rage, and fear.

All indications – making mistakes at work, adrenal burnout, nausea, contempt and that scoured-out empty feeling one gets when one’s soul has been filleted from their being–all are signs that I need to vacate the premises.

But I’ve stayed and put up with being treated poorly, having my modest raise taken away, enduring insults and condescending remarks, having to work under impossible scrutiny, and wondering if I’m going to be fired.

I’ve realized this year that the fewer things I have, the fewer things I have to worry about losing, this includes my job. But this is a hard economy, I don’t have a college degree, I’m 40 something, and have lots of debt. Without a solid backup plan, it would be imprudent to just walk away from a job that at least pays my bills.

As a pilgrim whose job and mission it is to test the friendliness and resources of the so-called Source, I just can’t bring myself to follow through on this assignment. I understand, wholly, that this is the point of my arriving at this juncture. But I’m so fearful that if I follow my heart and just depart from this situation I would be left dangling – jobless, penniless, and would lose my home, belongings –everything.

I know what I’m supposed to do.  I just  don’t believe that I’ll be ok.


Roots

April 3, 2009

It’s been almost a year since I decided that the crux of the Law of Attraction is this: You must find a way to be happy with your crappy life, and you must stop wanting.

Besides the fact that like does not attract like (anyone with a high school education in physics knows that opposites attract, hence polarity), I realized that shrewd, ambitious gurus do attract the money and trappings of success that they want by selling books, tickets to lectures, videos and recordings, and by espousing so-called ‘secret teachings’  of prosperity and manifestation.

So they’ve been busted.

But the question remains: How can I get what I want?

The answer: Gravity.

…..

Yup. You must have mass to attract more mass. That’s it. Plain and simple.

So how do your desires acquire mass?

They must vibrate. You must say them aloud, i.e. prayer.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word WAS God.”

There it is.

I’m not saying that you must pray TO anyone, or anything. You just have to give those thoughts some density, some weight, something to bend the space/time fabric. That’s all.

Say what you want. Create your own dark matter. Do it.

Did you know that Desire and Star are somehow, mysteriously, related etymologically? Wonder why?

Numerologically, Desire, Density, Magnetism, and Word all reduce to 6, which is a number that attracts things to it because it creates a void, a vacuum by giving, from service, from loving.

Look at the number 6. Just look at its motion. If you draw it starting from its center, the momentum will continue in spirals, like a galaxy. Do you see it?

That anything in this world exists at all, is because of desire. The desire of Consciousness to know itself, to express itself, this is why. For every question that begins with why, this is why. Desire, wanting, wanting to know, wanting to become, wanting to experience, wanting  wanting wanting–this urge is the force that has created everything.

You are this urge. Everything in your life revolves around this urge, this pulse, because your soul–that dense, irresistable singularity at the center of your experience  has pulled your life and everything and everyone in revolutions around it.


Station III: Jesus Falls the First Time

March 20, 2008

via-03.jpg

Chakra: Solar Plexus                Illusion: I Am a Victim

Concern: Will, Power                 Revelation: I Create 

As we move forward with the weight of purpose upon us, we still ourselves, and steel ourselves for the journey. Envisioning our goals, focused  on feeling the elation of reward and attainment, we are ready to reap what we sow.

Meditation: Everything I expect, I experience. I manifest all good things one breath at a time, one step at atime. 


Galaxme – Part I

January 22, 2008

thumb.jpgI’m not sciency, but I do watch the Discovery channel and other educational offerings on the tube. One show discussed the presence and properties of dark matter and dark energy in the universe. It got me thinking, “What if dark matter is the quantum field of potential? What if the part of us that can’t be seen is actually dark matter?”

I think the quality of dark matter, the power, the drive, is desire. It’s a void, a thing needing to be filled, a force of wanting. This is how creation comes about. Galaxies are planets, comets, asteroids, and all manner of debris pulled into a swirling space dance around a dark center, that center is the mega-dense black hole.  I think the books of Genesis and John may have clues as to the nature of God, and that God is the original appearance of dark matter.

Genesis speaks of the void before creation, and the verse in John says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” A word is initially a thought, and the primal essence of thought is desire. The verse could read as such: “In the beginning was the Desire, and the Desire was with God, and the Desire was God.”

This means that God is a force of desire, and by simply declaring, “Let there be light,” the desire manifested.