What Matters?

March 29, 2008

 Dreams…they do divide the being       

                                — Byron

I’ve realized a few things during the course of dream work and dream analysis.  Several years ago it occurred to me that I don’t pray in my dreams. This seemed strange as I spent so much time in prayer, meditation, and divine petition during my waking life. I wondered why I never reacted to any of my dream scenarios–even in life-threatening situations, with prayer.

I asked my brother and my friends if they prayed in thier dreams. Not one of them could recall an instance when they asked for divine assistance while dreaming. These are people with varied religious and spiritual backgrounds: born-again Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, and even a New Thought minister was among my group of friends.

Recently, I’ve discovered something about my dream self in the lucid state that bothers me. My waking, ego-tethered self has questions and longings, which my dream self doesn’t share. She’s not aware of any of the problems, questions, desires that buzz through my waking mind. My dream self seems to be this wild thing who accepts everthing as it happens, doesn’t think about the future or the past, doesn’t want or need to know why she’s here or what she’s supposed to do next. None of these things things ever dawn on her.

I’m troubled because I wish to access the lucid state and delve deeply into it, but the part of me that wishes this sleeps while the part of me that dreams and can understand that I’m dreaming, dreams. I may never get the two together, and I have to ask, if these things aren’t important to  my dream self, then are they important at all? I want them to be important. My waking self seeks to define itself in its questioning and understanding. The art of being and staying present is how we achieve lucidity during our waking hours, I believe.

But it’s just too damn hard.